Something borrowed

As a young parent 35 yrs ago I also was very concerned about television and the "culture," mostly because it had totally undermined our family when I was growing up.

Providentially, we lived across the hall from a young Korean couple who also had a baby boy. From their apartment came very strong cooking odors and a lot of Korean chatter.

It occurred to me one day that their child might as well be growing up in Seoul. And with that came the realization that we could create in our own home whatever culture we wished. We did that.

We threw out the TV, and eventually spent our evenings as a family reading 30 minutes of good secular literature such as the Chronicles of Narnia, 30 minutes of the life of a saint, and 15 to 20 minutes of catechism.

We never experienced any teen-age rebellion. The kids never asked, "Why do we have to go to Mass?" At 28 and 30 yrs old now they are daily communicants, and my daughter a contemplative nun.

Ironically, the one decision to throw out the TV kept me from coming across as the censorious parent: "Don't watch this, don't watch that," etc. That causes a lot of resentment and rebellion in itself.

It was the best financial decision I ever made, because it opened up aeons of time and a quiet atmosphere in which to study. My son became a fantastic guitarist, my daughter an artist. All this paid off handsomely in scholarships. My daughter was a National Merit Scholar Finalist..

There is a very popular counsel of despair that goes like this, "What is the point of our getting rid of our television, since they will see it at their friends' homes anyway?"

The self-interest underlying this question is obvious, and televised sports has everything to do with it.

Of course, they saw television at their friends' homes nor were they forbidden from doing so. But their own home was a quiet, prayerful, peaceful refuge from the "world."

Beyond that, we emphatically wanted and needed the Lord to protect our kids from "the world, the flesh and the devil" (otherwise known as "the culture") but I could not reasonably expect Him to do that if I did not do all in my power. If we will do ALL, He will do ALL. If not, not.

If I was not going to do my part, and be the gatekeeper of my own home, how could I expect Him to be the gatekeeper of their hearts?

If I did my part, He would do His. And so it proved. To God be the glory! It was His warnings, His chastisements, His instruction that brought us around to this way of thinking.

In other words, the alarming reality is that the entire responsibility and opportunity for the formation of children rests on parents. The "culture" has little to do with it.