I'm looking for:
1. Men who go to Mass and have gotten other men to go
2. Men who were away from Mass for years and what got them back to the pews
3. Women who have gotten men (husbands, brothers, sons) to go to Mass
4. Insights into why so many men don’t go to Mass; what's their problem, what turns them off?
5. Suggestions on how to get men to go
Try to keep suggestions somewhere between "take them by the ear and pull" and "tell them that a smoking pit of sulphur awaits if they don't!"
2 comments:
In my experience, the reasons men willingly go to Mass are 1) they know it is special and separated from the dreary world around them, 2) they know it is not a "feminine" thing to do, 3) they understand their obligation to assist at Mass and 4) they are challenged by the Mass.
Most men that I know who assist at Mass regularly have, at least at some point, mentioned all four of these things as reasons for their assistance. Others that are less-than-eager to assist at Mass seem to do so because they do not understand one of the four issues above. For example, if a man does not understand he has a true obligation to worship God that is as important (if not moreso) to provide for his family, he will find other "obligations" that are more pressing. If a man is subjected to a Mass that is overly feminized, they will consider it "girls play" and less-than-masculine to go to Mass.
I believe most men also want to be challenged to some degree or another. If they are simply treated like immature children at Mass, they will begin to think and act like children. I believe this is true for all types of people, but particularly true for men.
I think that if men would be able to see, hear and smell the differences in the Mass that make it special and indicate its importance, then they would be much more willing to assist at Mass. If the Mass was obviously "masculine," then they would more willingly sit in the pew. By masculine I mean challenging: the Faith should be presented and the Mass celebrated in a way that does not shy away from harsh realities like Hell; too much hand-holding, sappy songs or other "feminine" things will discourage men; present the Faith with sternness and strength.
I have a husband who loves the Mass but did not attend Mass regularily when he was younger. While I would like to take credit for his change of heart I probably better not. I can mention a few things that didn't work out for me. Nagging...not very effective. Getting angry and fighting on Sunday didn't work. I remember the day over 30 years ago that everything changed. I was driving home alone from Sunday Mass and was so frustrated. I was praying, just asking the Lord how I was going to deal with getting my husband to Mass. I got a clear answer and much peace of heart. My answer was to be good to my husband but to keep quiet. I prayed and turned it all over to the Lord and he took care of my husband. I needed to learn to bite my tongue, I'm still working on it. I think it is a very manly thing to really be the spiritual head of your family.
Post a Comment